Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Honk Honk

Warning, I'm not work safe today... (as if that is out of the ordinary, I know. but really. NOT. SAFE.

Last night, while our frozen pizza was cooking, SM and I opened a really good bottle of wine and watched a sex-ed video. We’re classy, I know. It was a cartoon designed for small children that explained all the “insert part A into part B” stuff that can often make parents blush and stutter. However, in its attempt to be accurate and informational, it compared the hot build up of sex to a tickling sensation. AND it compared an orgasm to sneezing after your nose has been tingling for a few minutes. And all I could think of was “these people must be doing something wrong!” or at least I thought that for about 2 seconds until I was engrossed in the next burst of visual soft-porn delight. Seriously, I could not look away!

You think I exaggerate with the intense awesomeness of this video. Oh. No. There is no way I could make this any worse (or better) than it actually was. Why you ask? Because of the Duck of course! Yes, you did not read that wrong. It was a duck.

D - U - C - K

I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.











Are you ready?




This is a recreation but the large ballish-ness of the hooters and the bug-eyed closeness of the duck are both accurate.

SM asked when Duckie was going to open his beak and honk those things.
I was mesmerized.
So was Duckie.

Duckie even got a close up view of the woman’s hooha! And you know what we thought then? Well of course you know! And it’s wrong I tell you. Simply Wrong!

And finally, the best part of this video I only discovered a few minutes ago. Google, I love you!
It was narrated by Howie Mandel.

His nose has a beak-like quality, don’t you think?

P.S. I have every intention of forcing Thing1 to watch this movie just so I can see him squirm. Tell me I’m too old for Kegels to be of any use? I’ll show you, you lil monster!

And in case you NEED this video to educate your children (or to spice up your sex life), Clicky Clicky.

4 comments:

reneedesigns said...

Umm. Wow. Ducks and Howie Mandel teaching sex ed. What will they think of next?

Renaissance Woman said...

LOL!!! I have to get that video. I'm not having sex, but by the time I'm ready I might need a refresher! Love the duck!

Pamela Kramer said...

LOLOLOLOL - OMG ROFL - Ur killin me!

Good & Crazy said...

Okay. I do not need this video. But your blog is cracking me up.

And I can help get your header to fit, if you want??

You can either widen your outter wrapper or make the header smaller?

But I can just leave you alone too.