Friday, August 14, 2009

Helloooo, is anybody out there?

Hey y'all, remember me? It's Sassy. I own this joint. Sorry for not posting recently.

It's been a wild ride this summer and there are a couple of things I want, nay NEED to write about. I'm just not sure how it's going to all flesh out yet. I do know that I'm back though. This place is my outlet. My outlet for all the crazy thoughts in my head. And when I don't get them out here, they actually come out my mouth and that is bad. Here, let me give you a completely true and unfortunately not edited or exaggerated example.

The scene- Sassy walks up to the office copier to find one of her new and completely unknown FloorMates looking completely baffled as the thing squawks and beeps at him. He's flustered and embarrassed. Also, his fly is down.

Sassy: Hi, I'm Sassy. You seem to be having a bit of trouble. She's moody most mornings, the copier I mean. You just need to give her a chance to warm up.

FloorMate: *looking at me like I'm insane* No, no. I let it, err, her warm up. It's... she's jammed.

Sassy: Oh, well let me take a look and see what I can do. And while I'm busy with this, you might want to check your fly. (oh yes, I swear to the goddess of chocolate that I actually said that to a man I work with before I even got his name)

FloorMate: *stutter, stammer, shuffle, muffle*

Sassy: Don't worry about it, your pretty lavender shirt was poking out to say good morning, not the rest of you.

FloorMate: *stttuuutter, sttammmer...*

Sassy: Really, it's not a big deal. Although, I have to tell you that when I was a kid and I heard people call it a barn door, I always imagined cows coming out instead of... well, you know.

FloorMate: I think I actually have enough copies. Umm, thanks for the... help.

Sassy: No problem. I'll have this fixed in a minute if you... *watches him walk away FAST*

At least I didn't tell him about how the cows actually had flies buzzing around them which often made me think the person really needed to shower.

Ahhh, much better. Yes, I am definitely back.


Blondie said...

oh my God, I almost fell off my stool reading your post laughing. You are so funny. Poor
I bet he checks his fly from now
Thanks for making me laugh this morning!

Stacie's Madness said...

ROFLMAO...I love you.