Some days it just doesn't pay to get up in the morning

An actual conversation here in the office

Sassy: Hi AdorableInternWhoCalledMeYoungOnMyBirthday
AIWCMYOMB: Hi Sassy, how are yooo... oh oh weird little jumping up and down thingy with flappy arms OOOOOHHH.
Sassy: confused stare
AIWCMYOMB: Oh my Gawsh, you and SM must be so excited!
Sassy: even more confused stare
AIWCMYOMB: How aRRRe you guys?
Sassy: confused as hell stare We split up.
AIWCMYOMB: No. No no no noooo. Oh NOoooo!
Sassy: wondering if she is off her meds today stare
AIWCMYOMB: in a hushed whisper Does he know?
Sassy: What the hell is wrong with this girl??? Know what?
AIWCMYOMB: More hushed tones That you are pregnant with his baby?
Sassy: Falls on the floor dead.

As I dance in the bright white light I have to wonder how this happened. I do NOT look pregnant. I'm looking down and smoothing my shirt against my smaller than it has been in for-ev-er etherial waste. Staring down at the shirt... The shirt that is cut like a triangle and sort of puffs out in front even though no part of my body is causing the puff... The shirt I will burn the moment I get... awww crap. No flames in heaven. I'm pretty sure of that. Burn the shirt or go to heaven? BURN the SHIRT or go to heaven. Burn... See y'all on the other side.

P.S. Somone bring the sunscreen. I'm gonna be topless
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