Friday, February 20, 2009

You say tomato, I say OMFG that's ugly

I have a girlfriend who is anticipating being betrothed very soon. Soon as in TONIGHT soon. She stumbled across her man's credit card statement and there was a $22,575 purchase on it at Tiffany.

So let's just stop and look at that for a minute.

1) Stumbled across? Pfft!!!

2) $22,757 on a piece of Jewelry? OMG!
That's a freaking car people.
That's 7,611 Big Mac's.
That's 1,896 cases of beer.
That's 284 pairs of over priced jeans
That's 12 gallons of gas!

But it wasn't just the stealthy credit card glance or the crazy price tag that made my head explode in this conversation, it was the ring she hoped that he chose:

That has to be the gaudiest ring I have ever seen in my life. Now, I happen to know this man makes almost as much money as GM's CEO so whatever he does buy will be the real deal. But if I saw any other woman on earth wearing this thing I would immediately assume she had a lousy redneck trashy fiance who bought her a fake ring. Fakey fake fake. Top that off with the simple and undeniable fact that it is just plain FUGLY.

But being the great friend that I am, I oooo'ed and awwww'ed and gushed over how gorgeous it will look on her little bitty finger. Now, I can only hope that he actually was her own personal Super Man and that he picked the ring she has her heart set on. Otherwise she will be crying diamond shaped tears tomorrow and $21,000 is going to be cheap to repair the damage.

Now, since it's Friday and my office is EMPTY I've been emailing with some of my more classy and less wealthy single* girlfriends to see what they hope to sport on that all important digit some day. Here's what we learned.

Five incredibly diverse single women from various places in their romantic journeys have very different tastes but still dream of happily ever after with one man and one gorgeous rock.

  • Ella is not currently in a relationship, has never been married and has no kids
  • Stella has kids is dating but not seriously and has never been married
  • Frella is a divorced cougar with grown children and a much younger lover
  • LouElla has never been married and has no children. She has been living with the same man for over 15 years.
  • Bella is divorced, has teenish kids and is in a committed relationship.

So here's the audience participation part. Vote for your favorite bauble. (Boys girls, married or single, join the fun)

*Sorry married ladies but you are required by marriage law #862 to love the ring you vowed yourself into, whether you had wet dreams of a different sparkly sort all those years ago or not.

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Stacie said...

ok, technically I am still married...and I will probably be forever bitter, so my choice is the last one!!!


and I would think fake too...she probably won't even be able to pawn that thing for $500. ;)

Bill said...

Now, while I'll hope for the't she ever watched a movie (like Love Actually, or any of a dozen others)?

Whenever a woman searches for a credit card statement and finds that kind of charge, she's going to get her hopes up but end up receiving something like a CD. Then some other woman is going to get the ring.

SP said...

Never say never Stacie my dear. Never say never. And even if you don't get married, you can still have wet dreams about great big diamonds.

Bill- I know, right?!!!

Stacie said...

GURL...IF I am going to have wet dreams, it won't be about diamonds ;)