Thursday, January 24, 2008

Does Sassy = Sexy?

In case y’all were wondering what a wild and crazy woman does to pass the child-free time when she’s not out on dates with old men, giggly women, manginas or wolf-creatures then this is your lucky day.

One Evening This Week:
Walked the dog - Shoveled snow- Attempted to thaw out by drinking wine - Pretended to be interested in cooking dinner - Microwaved a jello pudding cup to see if it would explode (yes!) - Drank more wine - Ate left over chili - Stuffed Kleenex up my nose to stop the flow of now defrosted boogers from oozing down my face - Drank more wine - Went to bed.

Tonight I’m bribing the ex with food for compu-favors! Yes, I am a whore and I’m not afraid to use the power of Yummy-Pork-Chops in order to get my needs satisfied. I’ve a new DVD burner just waiting to be jammed into place. Yay for men who are easy!

On a completely unrelated note other than it is all about me:
I WON!!

You want your own nipple ring and random sex toy too, I know you do.


So now I can have a nipple on my finger and Kleenex up my nose while drinking a bottle of wine (or three) and chatting with the poor suckers who were brave enough to answer my dating ad!

Yes, I am one HOT momma!

5 comments:

XUP said...

Sorry, I didn't quite understand that -- you're sounding a bit nasal and drunk.....

booklady said...

Yup! Sounds like a typical evening--and I'm even married! A hilarious description of it all, even if you were wishing for something more exciting and romantic.

Oh, and congrats on the big win! You could probably sell your prizes, invest the income, and live off the interest if you wanted. But, hey, just a suggestion...

booklady said...

P.S. Get well soon! I hate the sticking-Kleenex-up-my-nose stage of a cold. Okay, well, I hate every stage of a cold except finally feeling better, but you know. That part particularly stinks. (Or it would, if you could smell anything...)

Mama Drama Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Chica, you don't even *need* a nipple ring to be a hot mamma. Although removing the kleenex stuffed up your nose might be a small setback.

SP said...

Sell my nipple ring? Never!