Monday, October 3, 2011

Messy

I'm on day 3 of no smoking and feel fantastic. No really, I'm not just saying that. I do. It's the happy pills that have helped me find my happy again. But also, it's the little puffer that helps me get past the cravings without actually having a cigarette. This is working. It's hard and sucky but it's working. And I'm totally stoked about that. You see, I was sort of a closet smoker. Sometimes, with some people. I never told any of the guys I dated that I smoked. I avoided seeing most of my friends unless I could shower first. I dreaded people stopping by unannounced because OMG, what if I wreak like an ashtray? It was exhausting. Now, I don't stink and for some odd reason that has me feeling super sexy. Actually, empowered is a better word. I feel empowered which leads to feeling fun and flirty and sexy.

Which can also lead to situations and decisions... of the messy sort.
*sigh*
I'll figure my shit out one of these days. But at least now, my shit doesn't stink!

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