Monday, May 9, 2011

Random Shit

Not the same as junk in the trunk.
I have a folder in my email that I keep blog post ideas. It's kind of like the junk drawer at home. I throw useful things in there but when I pull them out 6 months later I'm all "WTF was I thinking?" And yet I feel wasteful just throwing them out. After all, I'm a lazy slacker that posts nowhere near as often as my good intentions would imply. Do I really have the nerve to throw this shit out without at least tossing it up against my blog wall for all to see. It's like splatter art.
Can you find the penis red shoe?

OK, so let's rip through the random and see if there's anything fun and useful, like boys, porn and dating introspection babble.

  • I went to Idaho for spring break. While there, I saw: Mule deer. Elk. Big horn. Antelope. The California Trail. Sun valley. Castle Rock. Rango. I skied at Sun Valley, which is apparently where all the movies stars go to ski, just not in March. I saw hot springs, which actually just look like a public swimming pool - so disappointed. I soaked in a hot tub and drank lots of wine - so NOT disappointed. I did some horseback riding, dog walking, bird dancing and kid cuddling. And I once again realized that "going back" to see someone that you have vague warm fuzzy memories of never turns out as good as you hope. I did however totally kick his ass at Scrabble and Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots. I WIN!

  • Pictures on Facebook are a bad idea, especially when you are friends with me...
  • I can't be the only one who immediately thought 2 in the pink...
  • Did you know that 74% of men ejaculate within 2 minutes? Seriously! I'm suddenly feeling pretty damn lucky to have always found men (well all but one anyway) who blew (heh) that statistic out of the water. 2 minutes? Really? BOGGLE! Someone out there tell me this is a bunch of horse shit. I suddenly feel like I've been playing sex-partner russian roulette for years and didn't even know it. And now all my safe shots are gone and I'm going to get stuck with nothing but Mr-20-Seconds for the rest of my life.

  • I've been on a few dates lately. Only two are worth of posting about. One will probably never be mentioned on this site again but him and all his kind will now and forever be referred to as JesusMan. I felt bad breaking it to him that: No, I would not in fact get up at 5AM, on purpose, everysinglefuckingday, and pray with him, before coffee!! -- The other guy, I'm keeping mum about for now. So far, I like. But I have to wonder, would I be as interested if he acted more interested? This might be my dating fatal-flaw and probably deserves more self-reflection. I do have a pretty bad track record of falling for the guys who keep themselves at a distance and being completely uninterested in the guys who fall at my feet.

  • And finally, a preview of my next post
    • HOW TO GET YOUR TEENAGE SON TO READ MORE - Sassy's guide to fucked up parenting.


Jersey Girl Gets Real said...

Dude, I suggest if the sex is good with Jesus Man to tell him to wake you up at 5 for sex and just say "Oh God" alot ;)

SP said...

LMAO! I wasn't willing to wait until "death do us part" to find out if the sex would be good though. There's a major flaw in that kind of thinking.

Stacie's Madness said...

buaha. how did I miss this post? love jersey girl's suggestion. :D

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