Friday, January 14, 2011

Why my email scares me

Having my email address publicly displayed on a website that regularly discusses rusty vagina equipment, hookers, good sex, porn, not good sex, popcorn*, booze and herpes; that opens up my inbox to all kinds of ODD things. But nothing, NOTHING compares to the shit guys say to me in messages from dating sites.

An example that will haunt me for weeks:

Sure, the picture isn't real. The guy above is much too good looking and refined to even come close to the charmer who actually emailed me. But the words below are quoted word for word.
Pull my finger? Really? Since when is it acceptable to say that to a woman?

* OK, so I don't think I've ever even used the word popcorn on this site before, much less had a conversation about it - but I had to toss something wholesome in. My Mom has started asking about my blog. Maybe if I talk about popcorn she won't notice the conversations about sex-toys and hangover poop. She really likes popcorn.

P.S. It's DeLurking Day. You know, the day every year that I beg you all to flash me in cyber-space. So, get crackalackin' loverlies. Time to come out of the lurking-closet and show me your wang knockers pretty face. Leave me a message just to say hi. Or write me a poem that includes "pull my finger" - that would fucking rock!


Cathi said...

I am an elderly woman who reads your blog daily. I love your irreverant humor & vulgarity! LOL If you pulled my finger I'd probably poop myself! Seriously, your blog is honest & delightful.

KittyCat said...

You crack me up . I would never let my mom read my blog, but let me know if the "popcorn" thing works for you.
As for the guy, you got to be fucking kidding me. really ? some man actually thought that might be a turn on.
What a piece of work. Im glad that I am not single. cause I guess I wouldnt get many dates if thats whats out there.

Happy lurking day, a little late

Stacie's Madness said...

My mom has never even ASKED about my blog, she knows I have it...but that's's OFF LIMITS.

Oh and on the "pull my finger" I would have responded with a "yeah I'll pull your finger right after I kick your stupid ass." Or something clever.

Kimberly said...

Dating websites are full of full-on freaks. Really & if that offends well, I guess it just will have too.

I think you should look for men in good wholesome places such as Wal-Mart or an interstate truck stop.