Monday, December 14, 2009

Fire, alcohol, Jesus... She's baaa-aack!

Hey y'all!

I know it's been forever and a month, give or take a couple bottles of wine. I hope everyone is well and still checking back here every once in a while because I really do have intentions slipping back into Sassy's Pants.

So, to bring you all up to date, let's just put the last month on fast forward and pause for a few of the highlights.

  • Down to just one man -the one with the really phallic last name, of course.
  • Set a Christmas tree on fire... on purpose.
  • Discovered that I could over dose on sushi and die a happy woman
  • Chocolate wine is definitely as good as you think it is.
  • Drove to Chicago without hitting any construction barrels this time but desperately missed my fabulous British travel companion.
  • Made some new friends and had a spontaneous hot tub party in the Dells
  • Took 4 boys between the ages of 12 and 14 to the water park and lived to tell the tale.
  • Was very very thankful.
  • Discovered that Ex and I still need to work at our friendship
  • Baked 10 dozen cookies
  • Had a snow day
  • Had an "ice" day
  • Basked in the glow of candlelight with 34 lovely women while we enjoyed coffee, Christmas Carols and good conversation.
  • Discussed "Poor Cocks"
  • Had my first white russian. And then my second.
  • Had 3 days of just me and Thing2. It ROCKED!
  • Got the worst haircut/highlights ever
  • Got the best "FIX" haircut and highlights ever.
  • Spent lots of time with some of my favorite kids who aren't biologically related to me. Although I'd adopt them in a second.
  • Shot plastic animals with a bow.
  • Drank a Forest Fire
  • Rode a Clydesdale
  • Had a Clydesdale try and give me a toss
  • Proved to said beast that Sassy can still stay in the saddle! Hot Damn I can't wait to do that again!
  • Found Baby Jesus on my pillow, in a box of Girl Scout Cookies, in my wallet, in the dryer, and under the Christmas tree.
  • Colored Thing2's hair red
  • Named my GPS "my Ho!" and decided she sounds like a $20 hooker if you listen close enough.

Those are the jumbled highlights. Add in some good food and uncontrollable laughter to get the complete picture.

So, before I really start jamming here again, I'm wondering who is still around. Drop me a comment and let me know I'm not all alone.


Alex said...


Your month sounded awesome!

Stacie's Madness said...

i'm here...

Bill said...

Me too...

Wow, what a clever commenter I am.

MyHope said...


Editdebs said...

Been waiting for you to return--though you didn't know it. I've never commented before, but I want you to know I'm looking forward to more posts!

Steph said...

jayzus! Could you wait any longer?!?

You were missed.

Anonymous said...

you are so not alone, baby girl!!!
i live viacriously through you.( i mean that in the non-stalker way) For the moment, as I am dipping my toe into the lake, ocean, sewer that is the dating world. You rock, you know who you are and aren't afraid to post your trimumphs or stumbles. Glad your back. Look forward to more posts!