It started Sunday. I was exhausted from a weekend of camping and returned home with a mountain of laundry and a filthy family. After getting the Things, the dog and myself clean again; after starting my 487th load of clothes in the washer, Ex came over.
He came over to consolidate the Things into one room. He came over to begin the moving process. You see, the shitty economy hasn't just struck you and your neighbor, it's struck the house of Sass. With raises gone bye-bye and furlough days on the horizon, I had to evaluate my finances and make a very difficult decision.
I could not keep going as I was and stay afloat. In order to make a significant difference in my monthly budget, I needed a roommate. Someone to split the bills with down the middle. And the idea of sharing my space with anyone is a scary thing for me. I'm incredibly independent and this may shock you but in so many ways, I'm a very private person. You would not believe the shit I don't post here people. Seriously! Also, I'm protective of my little demons. Who could I have live here that I wouldn't want to kill after 3 days? Who could I have live here that I would trust being around my progeny so much. There really isn't anyone but Ex.
Lucky for me, he and I are still the best of friends. I can look like hell and not worry when I'm around him. I can confide in him my darkest secrets. Of course, he knows all those already so that is kind of silly, but still, you get where I'm going with this. I trust him with the Things, DUH! And, I trust him with my stuff, and I trust him with me at my worst. So, Ex moved back in this week.
My house is in shambles. There are boxes and crap everywhere! And let me tell you, that is probably the one pet peeve I have almost zero control over. Sassy hates clutter and chaos! But I'm dealing with it. The hope is that by the time I return from vacation next weekend, that the clutter and chaos will be controlled. Ex has known me for more years than just about anyone and in truth knows me better than my own mother. So he knows my ability to hold my shit together amidst the disaster that is my home right now is reaching an end.
Anyhoo, the title talked about the benefits of a male roommate. And this is it: I am going to Az tomorrow. I was trying on my bathing suit with a little bitty bottom and OMG CLEAVAGE baring top. Like any woman I'm wondering if it looks ok. Perhaps it's about damn time I invest in a new one. So, I tried it on and trooped my not-as-fat-as-it-used-to-be ass downstairs and asked his MALE opinion. I asked him if I looked like a fat lady pouring herself into a too small/big swim suit. He laughed. Then I said, no really, honest to god male without bias give me your starkiest worst opinion... According to him I look fantastic. YAY! So, male opinions on your possibly-not-fat-ass is a definite plus.
I have to admit that amid all this moving, I had a serious melt down that had nothing to do with the clutter. It was an emotional melt down. When I think about my home and my life, and the idea of inviting a man (or anyone for that matter) into it, Ex is not what I hope and dream about. So, as Ex was moving in, I turned into a quiet moody bitch. I was trying to cope with the sadness of this not being what I really really wanted. I had to accept that my Ex husband was moving back in. Then I had to realign my thinking and remember that one of my dearest friends is moving in.
It's confusing. I know.
To make things even more complex because y'all know Sassy never wants to bore you. Ex has a girlfriend. She isn't overly pleased but she's dealing with it. AND. AND. AND. well, there are some things going on with SM and I. We are taking things one day at a time, whatever the hell that might mean.
So there you go. That's what's been up in my world and why I've been uncharacteristically non-share-ish lately. I just haven't known how to put all this into words. I'm still not sure this is the best way to do it but I've got to get it out and these are the only words I have for right now.
I'll be in Arizona for the next week meeting my new nephew, slobbering kisses all over my older nephew and soaking up the absolute goodness that is MyHope. She is the bestest of the bestest ever and I can't wait to get her drunk. Also, I'll be catching up with some old friends. Friends from high school and college. I cannot wait. I will have internet access and I'm taking my laptop lover with me so y'all should be seeing posts. Possibly drunk posts. Yay! right!?!
Let's just hope I don't spontaneously combust from the heat!