Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Is it ever just like in the movies? - making porn, I mean.

You know how some bloggers will try and talk about something personal but not really want to tell you exactly what they are talking about? They allude to a crappy marriage. They hint at an unwanted pregnancy. They skirt around a child with a drug problem. They pussy-foot around the worst sex of their life. Or the best sex with a complete stranger. Good choices, bad choices, bullets dodged or jumped in front of. Might - maybe - bad analogies. In the end you still don't know shit and they sound like a complete asshole.

Well aren't you lucky? I'm not going to do that to you today. There's safety in bullet points. I'm not talking until I'm ready to talk with full disclosure. I refuse to sound like a complete asshole. I sound like a partial asshole often enough.

The Weekend!
  • Hanging out with Thing1 = Me having a web orgy with my laptop while the dog chases lightening bugs and Thing1 peruses Face Book... or porn.
  • Being the mom who forgot to buy a gift for a kid party means that you have do something extra cool to make up for it. Water balloons are extra cool.
  • So there's This Guy (TG). We've been out several times. I'm so not letting this go anywhere serious for many many many reasons. For right now, he's an interesting distraction. TG has a friend. ThisGuy'sFriend (TGF) has a lawn business, and a sweet little old lab, and a motorcycle, and a great sense of humor. He has a lot doesn't he? You know what else he has? A really good heart. He came over to my house this weekend and waged an epic battle with the dandelions. He stormed the castle and saved the princess queen. He was rewarded with a beer. Then we whacked my weeds and fixed my mower... and my screen door... and he was rewarded with another beer. End game, TGF. End game.
  • I spent a couple hours being with and caring for my dying aunt. It will not be long now. My tears are for her pain and suffering. Because I love her, I hope she goes quickly. She lived her life with power and strength and being in a decaying shell is destroying her more violently than cancer.
  • Harley has gained 1.2 pounds in 4 weeks. He also eats his own shit.
  • Shimmy and I went to lunch and shopping and FUN! I adore that girl.
  • If you haven't seen Zach and Miri make a Porno, then you simply must. But only if you are not easily offended. There was one part where even I was all "omg, omg, omg!" And no, not in that way, but in the "Holy ever loving buddahs butt, did you just see that?" way.


Stacie's Madness said...

Aunt... *sniff*
dog...shit eatin shitter. nice.


What's his deal? Married? Attached? WTF?

What does he charge? ;-)

SP said...

TGF - The expanded version

He doesn't have a deal that I know of. He's nice, funny cu-ute, hard working, and just plain fun to be around. Single. And he only charged me a couple beers. I got the distinct impression he would have charged me less for more. More or less.