Friday, May 29, 2009

Days of Grace: 38

Knowing when to cut bait.

It's a really bad analogy. I thought about saying - Knowing when to shit or get off the pot. But that would have been worse.

I ended it with LocalGuy today. Yes, I did it via a PHONE CALL because while I'm a bitch, I'm not always an asshole. Then he hung up on me and started in with the emails. While I firmly kept my assholery in check, it was not easy. He said some pretty terrible things about my character all the while trying to convince me I was wrong to end it. He is/was convinced that I fucked all his friends and at least 3/4 of his entire family all before lunch today and that's why I broke up with him. Because, you know, a whore needs to be whoring and good boys like him can be boring*. I defended myself for about 2 seconds. Then I was all, You know what, you're right, I did them all and twice on Tuesday! That, he definitely didn't like. From You Slutty McSlutSlut we went straight into the But whaaaat did I do wroooong??? And finally, when I refused for the 72nd time to give him an entire list of all his flaws, he threw his final temper tantrum. YOUR LOSS! Yep, my loss. Remind me again what I lost? He was childish and immature and had a horrible temper - all demonstrated perfectly in how he behaved today. I have no regrets. I feel good that I ended it when I did and the way I did. I was NOT the asshole. He didn't have to be either. That was his choice. I did not offer to be friends. I'm of the mind that when someone offers friendship at the end of a relationship they should actually mean it. With him, I wouldn't mean it. See the difference? I'm a bitch who doesn't want to be his friend. But I am not an asshole who makes a list of all the ways he annoyed the ever loving hell out of me. I am the master of my Assholery! Huzzah!

*Did you hear the rhyme? I am mother fucking awesome. Poetry and break-ups all while screwing the local biker club.


Stacie's Madness said...


whorin ain't borin
should be your new tag line. lmfao

Bill said...

No, it should be "I am mother fucking awesome." God, I should steal that for mine! Except my inlaws read it. Shit.

SP said...

No, you two are mother fucking awesome! I'll say it for ya Bill.

Ev said...

A good break up is like cleaning your bathroom, don't you think? It's a pain in the ass while you're doing it, but it feels so much better when it's done.

And if I'd have know you were slinging the whoring around so cavalierly, I would have gotten in line. Once again, too late to the buffet.

Bill said...

Well, I stole it but wussed out on spelling the big f bomb, so I ended up with "I am mother f__king awesome!" on my site. At least for a while.

Man, I'm bored right now. :)

SP said...

Whoring beats cleaning any day if I must say so myself. And Ev, I'll whore around Nowhere anytime as long as you let me pet your poultry!

And Bill, baby steps honey. Baby steps.

Ev said...

Oh, really? "Pet your poultry?" Is that what we're calling it these days? :-)