I'm here to tell y'all that those pills and that nasal rinse thing saved Ex's life. Because if I didn't get some healing soon, someone was going to have to die and he was closest.
Good story right? Well not only was that a good story but I also have a point. I know, such crazy talk. Anyway, my point is this: A hell of lot has changed in 10 years (and I'm not just talking about my saggy boobs and hairy chin). A week ago I was infected with a disease so nasty and so green-gooey-snoterous that I crawled into my bed and told my children to dig in the neighbor's trash if they wanted to eat. I was DYYYIINNNGGG!!!!! But then I remembered the water flushy thingy from days of ol' and I hauled my sniffley ass down to Walgreens to get me some some of that. What I discovered there was that gently rinsing the slime out of your sinus was way old school, yo. This is the the 21st century and we Flush That Shit Out with gushing waters from squeezy bottles.
And so it is with first hand knowledge that I can tell you that if you feel like someone is sucking the snot out of your head with a straw that snot is most definitely connected to your ear drums and your eyeballs.
I may be a dirty girl but I have the cleanest sinus around. Thank You Mr Wizard.
And tonight, I finally feel well enough to have a drink.
Here's to being single again.