Saturday, October 18, 2008

The UPS guy is a whore

A while back I mentioned the fabulously fun trip to State Street I had with my dear friend Marge. It was on this trip that I found my second Buddha. It was a good day. On this particularly gorgeous day of eating and shopping I uncovered a beautiful site. The UPS guy. YUMMY!!! Tall and lean with great big box lifting muscles and a working outside all day tan. Gorgeous! As we walked from shop to shop he was keeping a similar pace with his deliveries. We'd say hi and hold the door for him. He'd acuse us of following him. And we weren't, I swear! Well, not totally. Maybe just a little, you know, lingering a bit over a jewelry counter at one place so he could catch up, that kind of thing. Anyway, that's so not the point of my story so quit making me the bad guy. When we stopped for lunch he kept going up the street but low and behold came back down the other side before we were finished. It was at this point that he propositioned me. With great big brown eyes he invited me to meet him in the back of his UPS truck for hot and steamy adventures. He asked me to run away with him. He whispered of the life we would have and the love we would share. The man spoke volumes with that one wink. And then he was gone.

Fast forward to me bebopping around my new office building trying desperately not to look like a deer in the headlights, or at least not let on that I'm lost again. It just so happens that my office; we have a UPS guy. Not just any UPS guy though. We have THE UPS guy. TallYumMusclesTan UPS guy. I signed for the delivery while my heart waited for him to take me in his arms. But there was no light of recognition in his eyes. He didn't even remember the passionate love affair we almost had 2 months ago. That pain of a love that is lost is always difficult to bear. But when I saw him wink at the girl 4 doors down who was signing for a delivery I had to accept that it was over. He never truly loved me. I gave him my heart. I would have had his children, lied to immigration for him and even plucked his ear hair. Now, he's winking all over town.

1 comment:

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh my gosh! How funny.
That winking slut!