The name game

The top baby names of 2007 are out. I must admit that the most popular ones don't surprise me and I kind of like them. I'm done naming Things but I might hold on to a couple to name my next dog. I am a little concerned about some of the non-top-ten that are gaining in popularity though.

Isn’t naming your child “Messiah” just begging for problems? When you bestow a moniker such as that, aren’t you emboldening your spawn to assume connotations that are already associated with the name would apply to him as well? Perfect. Chosen One. Without Sin. Blameless. How in the name of Malachi do you punish a child for biting the neighbor’s grandma if he is “blameless?” And you certainly can’t say Wait until your father gets home when the little mongrel believes his dad to be THE Big Cheese.

Oh, and what about the trend for names like Destiny, Trinity, Harmony and Serenity? I’m about to make a whole lot of enemies here but don’t those just scream stripper name to you? And now showing on stage 3, Trinity and Harmony, sharing a pole. These hot women will be in the private lounge after their set. Talk to your server if you’d like to meet one – or both. That just smacks of the same cheesy forced femininity of Mercedes the tranny who works on the corner of 10th and Pine (Hi C. Love you!).

My next pups will be Messiah and Mercedes, a wrinkled Char-Pei dog and a fluffy puffy Bishon Fris. You decide which is which.

What did you name your Things? Do you regret it?