Monday, May 12, 2008

The name game

The top baby names of 2007 are out. I must admit that the most popular ones don't surprise me and I kind of like them. I'm done naming Things but I might hold on to a couple to name my next dog. I am a little concerned about some of the non-top-ten that are gaining in popularity though.

Isn’t naming your child “Messiah” just begging for problems? When you bestow a moniker such as that, aren’t you emboldening your spawn to assume connotations that are already associated with the name would apply to him as well? Perfect. Chosen One. Without Sin. Blameless. How in the name of Malachi do you punish a child for biting the neighbor’s grandma if he is “blameless?” And you certainly can’t say Wait until your father gets home when the little mongrel believes his dad to be THE Big Cheese.

Oh, and what about the trend for names like Destiny, Trinity, Harmony and Serenity? I’m about to make a whole lot of enemies here but don’t those just scream stripper name to you? And now showing on stage 3, Trinity and Harmony, sharing a pole. These hot women will be in the private lounge after their set. Talk to your server if you’d like to meet one – or both. That just smacks of the same cheesy forced femininity of Mercedes the tranny who works on the corner of 10th and Pine (Hi C. Love you!).

My next pups will be Messiah and Mercedes, a wrinkled Char-Pei dog and a fluffy puffy Bishon Fris. You decide which is which.

What did you name your Things? Do you regret it?


C said...

I love Mercedes. I have moved on to Lucy though...
My Thing #1 is Caden...and he couldn't be anything else. :-)

SP said...

Love the name Lucy.

Ev said...

We tried to name our with names that wouldn't mortify them as children, nor sound stupid on adults. I think we pulled it off pretty well.

We get people at our hospital all the time with names guaranteed to leave them unemployed...or at least out of any boardrooms.

Theme names like "Sunny Dawn" are cruel, IMO.

SP said...

Sunny? *snicker*

Why don't parents think past the itsy bitsy baby stage? Thing2's nickname is Sunshine but I'd never brand him with that forever... unless he keeps forgetting to empty the dishwasher. Then, maybe.