My lying whore

I left my cell charger at SexyMan’s house this weekend. Yesterday I thought I had found a solution. A camera charger that has the same plug but sucks power through your computer.

Plug in – Wait
Lights – YAY!!!
“Charge Complete” – Full bars YAY!!!

A couple hours later...

Bloop – What?
Bloop – Oh hell no!
Bloop bloop - …
Black Screen – Fuck A Duck (No, Ev and Kwach, not your ducks. That would be Pedoduckia, or something like that)

Then I fell over dead.

She lied to me. My lovely phone. My very soul. She is a lying whore. She let me believe that what I was giving her was what she wanted and what she needed. But she was unhappy and empty inside. Why oh why didn’t she tell me? Instead she left me cold and alone with 4 quick “Bloops.”
She’s like a woman who fakes it and then breaks up with you because she’s not sexually satisfied (not that I’ve ever done that or anything (Sorry Mike)).
I have one more chance to win her back. I have purchased a super car charger which is the equivalent of The Rabbit. If this doesn’t get her motor running I don’t know what I’ll do. I cannot be phoneless until Sunday. Certainly that would stop the world from turning. Gravity would stop working. Michael Jackson would stop dreaming about 5 year old boys.
Come back to me my sweet sweet cellulover. Come back to me because I need you. I said come back you lying deceitful whore. Come back… Sniffle