Friday, April 18, 2008

30%

My Aunt has been in the hospital. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had surgery. They couldn't get it all. I found out recently that she only has a 30% chance of beating this thing (It is in her bodily fluids... any insight on that my internet-lovelies? I'm afraid to Google it.)

My heart is breaking and yet I feel like I'm getting ready for battle. I'm a fighter. I come from a family of fighters. If life throws you a shit bomb, you just clean it up and keep on going. We don't give up. We don't quit. We just do. My Aunt is the toughest cookie out of all of us. She is going to get treatment but she is letting go too. I honor and respect that. She is going to fight to enjoy every day she has left. I get it. It just feels wrong to be hanging up the battle armor already...

*** On an side note
The Ex and I have always said we are best friends; even as recently as last week. For the first time in over 13 years, he was not the first person I wanted to talk to when I got this news. I didn't run to him for that bear hug. I still want to tell him and you bet your sweet ass that I still want that hug. But my desperate need for immediate comfort was filled by someone else. I knew our friendship was going to change. It had to. Still, I'm a little sad about that. SexyMan and I are moving forward and getting close. We've taken some pretty big steps recently. And he was the only voice I wanted to hear in that moment. And that makes me very happy.

4 comments:

Deb said...

Such very big real struggles for you to hang in with! I'm so glad for your newfound hugger!

Ev said...

I'm so sorry for your family. Lucky you have a good support system...don't be afraid to avail yourself of it.

Good for your aunt, though, for doing it on her own terms. Too many people get rolled over by their families and doctors and end up with a treatment regimen that they're not happy with. It's good that she feels comfortable expressing her own needs.

Renaissance Woman said...

I'm sorry for the diagnosis. I am also glad that you are helping her fight to survive. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

SP said...

Thank you for all the support. We're taking it day by day.