Friday, March 28, 2008

It's either this or Valium

Today is a preliminary hearing for SexyMan’s custody crap with his Psycho ex-wife. I won’t go into details because it’s not my story to tell. And when I do tell it I want to drive over to her house and boil her in hot oil. Not very productive to getting things done in the office, right? But, if you are the praying sort, I’d sure appreciate a few of those tossed our way. Happy thoughts and burnt offerings to the gods of the judicial system also accepted.

1) Let Go and Let God

2) The Serenity Prayer

3) Live in the Now

4) It’s 5 o’clock somewhere

5) Just fucking let it go already!

I’ve heard all these things from well meaning friends and family lately. I’m working on it. It’s not as easy as one would think. Take number 4 for example. Recently, I went out with a girlfriend after work because the anxiety of something that MIGHT happen a YEAR from now was totally freaking me out. I’m not a worrier. I’m not a high anxiety kind of gal (except about clutter. I don’t do clutter). So I had no idea how to deal with this except to go get a drink and unwind. Descending upon the small townie bar in my small town, we went belly-up to the bar and my drink was waiting for me before I even got both cheeks settled on the bar stool. I swear to Budweiser that I am not a bar fly. I’m in that place maybe once a month. Apparently I make quite an impression though. By the time all the alcohol hit me smack dab in the face I had paid for exactly ZERO drinks. My glass was never empty. And I was hammered. It was officially 8:12pm. Yep, in 3 hours and 12 minutes I had managed to consume enough alcohol to know that I was about to puke and pass out (hopefully in that order) without paying for a drop. Nice huh? What I learned that night? 1) Sometimes no one listens when you beg “not a double, please not a double.” 2) Off duty Officer Friendly will not let you play with his siren while giving you a ride home but he will still try to get in your pants. Tit for Tat sir, tit for tat! 3) It’s time to just fucking let it go already!

So this is my new happy thought whenever I get anxious:


Ev said...

First of all, I always reserve my God-given right to freak out. I understand that it's also my responsibility to pull it together and act like a grown up when I need to, but as long as there are no witnesses...let your inner spazz out to enjoy some sunshine!

Don't you have any dishes that need thrown?

Oh, and second of crazy as you feel? There are a LOT of people out there who think they're sane and are very, very wrong. At least you're ahead of them.

Good luck, Pumpkin!

Ev said...
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Renaissance Woman said...

Free night to relax and erase the worry...good job.