Thursday, February 7, 2008

Funky Poo

We got 17+ inches. With drifting, my driveway had about 4 feet piled up in some places. I started shoveling around 4:30. My parents showed up at 6:00 to help and I wasn’t even halfway through. I’m a bit sore today but… My driveway and the roads are clear. There is no wind and the sun (oh glorious sun) is out. I’ve got a bounce in my step and a smile on my face. I love crisp winter days with no wind and lots of sun. It really is beautiful.

I feel like I have lots to say today but I don’t want this post to be a mile long so I’ll just go with these tidbits.

First, Ex sent this to me a few days ago:

Sooooo.. last night Thing1 is here less than an hour when he comes to me and
says "I don't know why but I always seem to have these giant poos .. and now the
toilet is clogged again" This is the second time in the last like 10 days that
this has happened. He knows where the plunger is and so he went to fix it. I
hear nothing from him for like 5 minutes, so I go to see whats going on. He is
in there with his MP3 player on jamming away while trying to plunge this giant
turd and allow it to flush normally. Water is every where on the floor. I just
didn't even know how to react. I was not happy that the poo water was all over
the floor.. but at the same time I couldn't stop laughing for the scene of my
son bebopping with his MP3 player while trying to plunge his oversize turds down
the toilet. I don't know what he's eating over there.. but might I suggest some
more fiber? He says to me "so what do I do" .. I am speechless. I don't know
what to tell him. Do you take some TP and break it up? I mean.. gross.. but so
is overflowing the toilet trying the "hope and pray it goes down" method.
And it wasn’t MY floor with the poo water on it which just makes this story 100 times more funny!

Second (because someone asked)- FlipFlop isn’t so flipfloppy any more. He does the FakeNBake thing. YUCK! I hate the smell those bottle tanners leave on your skin. Even the absolute best out there, the ones that people say don’t smell, really do have an odd funk that doesn’t wash away for days! And he had the funk! Sadly for me, his smooth moves weren’t smooth enough to distract me from the funk. Top that off with the fact that he shaves his chest and I’m terribly disappointed. I'm not a fan of high maintenance men.


Ev said...

My expert advice? Take a vacation from men and date my friend that's recovering from The Worst Girlfriend Ever. You'll like her, and she doesn't shave her chest :)

And the toilet thing? The plunger ought to work. My son used to do the same thing with his Colon of Doom. Luckily, he's living in his own place now, clogging his own toilet.

Oh...and more fiber is a baaaad idea. You don't want to bulk that thing up even more, do you?

XUP said...

I agree with ev on the vacation from men thing -- the ones you're meeting all seem to be kind of icky.

SP said...

Some are definitely icky but they make for great stories don't they? Ev, I'd love to meet your friend but I'm not so good at the long distance thing. I easily become Psycho girlfriend under those circumstances and no one needs that.

Steph said...

I hope to god that Thing1 was listening to "Hit Me With Your Best Shot".

I'm going to go now before I pee my pants.