Friday, January 11, 2008

This post not intended for Children - or the morally un-disturbed

Remember when I mentioned a while ago that I’m a bitch and probably going straight to hell? Consider this my way of confirming that reservation –

First: Go read this!
"I’m sad in my pants!!!" OMG, laughing and cannot stop! Love love love it. Oh, and now I think I definitely need to find out if Thing1 knows what a twat is. He now knows what Snatch is as well as what a snatch is (go find the link to that yourselves - perverts). I blame his father because I can’t blame the dog.

Speaking of the Things’ father. We still get along pretty well. When something strikes me as funny and no one else will talk to me, he’s always just an IM away:

  • Sassy:

  • Sassy: Is it just me or does that doll's mouth remind you of Oli's "Real Doll"? *warning, Real Doll web-site is NOT work safe - and will require you to lie and say you are at least 18*
  • BOL: umm.. did you see this line? "Be careful when changing diapers, baby is full of surprises"
  • BOL: so let me get this straight.. i can pay 35 dollars to get a fake baby that will still need to be changed because it wet itself and might very well piss on me when I try to change it? and the diapers are 6 bucks for 8 of them? Are these things anatomically correct? Or is there some random hole down there where it comes out?
  • BOL: All around.. I’m rather disturbed.
  • Sassy: disturbed? I'm freaking the fuck out. If the mouth looks like that, I really don't want to know what the other glory hole looks like
  • BOL: Or is this really some masterminded campaign against teen pregnancy? You give that to your kid and then tell them they have to buy the diapers and feed that kid that just pissed them with their measly allowance and tell them this is what happens if you have sex and get pregnant at 15.
  • Sassy: Someone should have given one to the Spears sisters, to distract them while they were being sterilized!

Second: Someone please buy me these –

Does red licorice refer to the color or a flavor? Wanna Taste?

Third: I saw the Oscar Meyer Weenie-mobile today. TWICE! (teehee, I said weenie)

On a side note completely unrelated to the destination of my eternal soul:
Had a date last night. She was very nice and adorable and sweet and umm… giggly. What’s up with the giggly? We’re not 17 anymore woman!

1 comment:

XUP said...

I love red licorice. And it's totally low fat.

Also, I need date details. You can't just mention it in passing and move on. No.