Tuesday, October 23, 2007

This dating thing is going be tricky, very tricky

Not one to think that the men will simply fall in my lap just because I no longer wear a ring on that ominous finger, I decided to step out on a limb and ask a guy out. I work with the guy -Dumb, I know! so you tell me where to meet eligible men in suburbia, other than the PTA, omg, not the PTA- Anyway, he keeps to himself and is not part of the gossip crowd so I wasn’t too concerned about the rumor mill. I also must admit that the asking was performed under pretty safe, non-scary circumstances. Over lunch a few days before we had been talking about a movie that we both wanted to see. So, at the end of the day on Friday I asked if he wanted to go. He said that he had plans to go to the beerfest in a city in which I knew was having a beerfest. I tried not to freak out too much. It was legitimate, right? right. Right!
Oh who the hell am I trying to fool? I’m a woman, of course I freaked the F out. Did I have something in my teeth? Do I smell? Does he think I’m a total jerk? I’m fat! I’m ugly! I have kids! --- You get the picture. My personal brand of crazy was going off in my head like a tornado, bumping into and destroying any logical thought I might produce. Then I talked to a friend who knows him much better than I do. She said, “Sassy, of course he actually went to the beerfest, what else do 25 year olds do?”
Yes dear internet, on my first foray into singledom, and in fact, the first time I have asked a guy out since I was eighteen years old, I went for a man-boy who is aproximately a decade younger than me! Hey, if I’m going fall on my face and make a fool of myself, I’m going to do it BIG the first time. That way, each time afterwards, I can always say “At least it wasn’t as bad as the man-boy.”

So there you have it folks, my newly single dating cherry was popped on a man-boy who was in kindergarten at the same time that I was… Umm, yeah, never mind what I was doing. Must not corrupt the innocent man-boy.

Luckily, the man-boy is so kind (and hot! Did I mention earlier that he’s HOT?!?! And am I going to go to jail or hell for still thinking he’s hot? So very hot... hot... hot...) and either doesn’t suspect that the dirty old lady was really asking him out, or he is pretending not to know, because he was taught to be kind to his elders. What a sweet sweet man-boy. I should bake him cookies.

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