Ms Sassy Pants: A nooner just for you...

Because I've already mentally clocked out today, I thought you all might like to join me for a nooner. You know, those hot lunch-time affairs where you want to hit it so hard and fast your pants never make it past your knees... Thaaat's what I'm talkin about, baby.

And keeping with the "I'd hit that" train of thought, here's proof that Sassy does in fact have some standards and limits - I know, crazy, right? These are profiles of people I would definitely not do the wild and nasty with...

hyper stallion

His friends describe him as humble.

After watching this video today (and laughing my ass off), I'm afraid MrStallion is simply not an option for me anymore. Go ahead, go watch the video. I'll wait...

thank you Bev

enroll now

He's accepting applications. There are even job responsibilities listed.

Expectations already? That seems like a lot of pressure. I tried to think of a joke about negotiating my salary but while I've literally been called a whore by my best friend in the world - Love You Amy! - I am not, in fact, a prostitute.

whiskey34698

Despite having a screen name with potential, mmm, Jack! He's looking for a "NASCAR loving homebody who likes to go out and do things." So he's looking for a redneck with split personality disorder?

Just Some Guy

I can't even bring myself to type this poor schmuck's name.

i'm work alot and this its the first time what i do this i'm looking for somebody to make a life wonderful and enjoy things ? i dont like play games i'm very take care things for live better? and i live by myself its why i'm here try 2 find a good person.

With a hairline like this, dude, it's time to give it up and accept that bald is sexy. Or at least sexier than sporting a genetically induced mullet.