Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Happy Friday... I mean Wednesday.

I consider it a great personal victory that I have cut back on my blog addiction in order to focus more at work. In all seriousness (that will only last for the remainder of this paragraph, I promise), it was a problem for a while. I would get so caught up in posting and reading that I wouldn't actually begin working until I had been in the office for an hour or two. Is there anyone else out there who has had that problem too? We should form a recovery group. And blog about it!

But for today I'm willing to let it be a problem. Why am I falling off the wagon and giving in to my blog addiction on this frigid Wednesday morning? I'm so glad you asked. I'm giving in and putting out for all my interweb lovers because I cannot get my head to focus on work to save my life. You see, tomorrow I am flying off to the Valley of the Sun (and to one of the bestest girlies ever) where we will pack up and drive our hot little asses all the way to Vegas for some much needed girl time. Four fabulous women are going to forget children, spouses and responsibilities for 3 days and take Sin City for a spin. Considering the crash and burn that is my love life at the moment, a long weekend with the ladies is exactly what I need!

I finally told Roo it wasn't working. He was pissed. Sadly I don't think I'll have anyone calling me Poopy ever again. AND I gave up all my easy dick reference dating material. *sigh* The things we women sacrifice in order to find true love.

Speaking of what we do for love. Or maybe it's what we won't do for love. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that when it comes to dating I'm a total train wreck. And if I haven't actually said it you all must have figured it out on your own. My stories are funny but there has to be something completely out of whack with me if I keep attracting these guys. Currently my man line-up consists of a slew of men that I don't want. Nice huh?

ThisOneGuy and I dated way back in March. It didn't work. While he is a great guy, he is also possessive and a little bit angry. Not in a scary, he might hit me way, but in a "I can find something to bitch about in a room filled with puppies shooting rainbows out their asses" kind of way. And that just rubbed my inner Pollyanna the wrong way. However, in 10 months, he has never actually given up. We are friends but he regularly admits that he still wants more. Every once in a while he'll push for something and it gets all weird. After not talking for a few weeks we reconnect and act like nothing ever happened. We're currently not talking. That's totally healthy and normal, right?

Guy3 (I'm recycling names here... good lord maybe it's time I find that nunnery with a whiskey bar and progressive masturbation policies and just give up!) is a bad kisser. No. No that is not even fair to the many men I have had chew on, slurp all over and in general molest my face over the years. This guy should be required to wear a sign or a tattoo on his forehead that says "Warning TERRIBLE Kisser. Proceed at your own risk." Why the forced branding? Because he kisses like a fish. Like a dead fish. He just sticks his tongue in your mouth and lets it lie there like a not quite cold yet dead fish. Flop. TMI, I know. But limp tongue is a horror that must be shared.

LawnBoy still won't give up. And to be honest, this is the one I struggle with the most. There is absolutely NO SPARK. But outside of that he has everything else. I think I brought this up once before. Just to give you an example of how very great he is and how very fucked up I am: He planned a surprise for me. About 3 weeks ago he said he wanted to do something with me on a specific date. That was all I knew. As time went by I got just enough information out of him to get me dressed appropriately and out the door on time. He was going to pick me up at 5 o'clock for dinner. He would be wearing a tie. A classy rather than flashy little black dress was probably most appropriate. This is what happened: He took me to a wonderful Italian restaurant that overlooked the lake. He took off his coat and wrapped it around me when I got cold (it was 14 degrees last night). He took me to see Rent. Yes, RENT! I've been doing the happy dance for about 19 hours straight now. He held my hand while I cried when Angel died. It was the perfect big gesture date. Except that it was with a guy I'm not into. I feel like I'm shallow; One of those women men always bitch about because they don't want the "nice guy." I don't want to be that person. But I also don't want to date someone when there is no chemistry. The whole situation just sucks sweaty donkey balls.

AnotherGuy: I don't know what I think about this one yet...

And THAT is what I am running away from right now. Bring on the Girls Weekend!
sex

9 comments:

Stacie's Madness said...

ok, so define no spark.
seriously.
maybe you won't let yourself feel a spark cause it's too scary...to nice...or something.

let's discuss. :D

Anonymous said...
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SoccerMom said...

Enjoy your get-a-way trip. It sounds like a blast. Also, there is nothing wrong with being particular about which man you end up with. Marriage is supposed to be for life. So it's a good thing you are taking your time to choose a mate.

Ev said...

Because I'm the sort of person that overthinks everything, I know that the 'spark' for me is the the light emitted when I peg my stupid meter.

It is an inarguable fact of my life that the hot girl I meet and think I want NOW turns out to be the parasitic albatros that I would pay money to be free of next week. So when I have the NOW moment, I try to figure out which mental illness niche she's filling for me.

And then I revisit the girl who is a better match but didn't make my clothes fall off.

Stacie's Madness said...

sparks fizzle out...
if you have MORE than a spark, that won't fade...

SP said...

Lawnboy Update:
Thank you to all of you and your words of wisdom. There was no spark and while he was a great guy he was also not that incredible friend either. So, I'm in the process of making him realize that not only are we really just friends but that he needs to STOP asking for and trying for more or I will STOP being his friend.
Enough already!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

My friend and I were recently discussing about the prevalence of technology in our day to day lives. Reading this post makes me think back to that debate we had, and just how inseparable from electronics we have all become.


I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as technology further innovates, the possibility of transferring our memories onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I dream about every once in a while.


(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978023679]r4i dsi[/url] DS SerVo)

Stacie's Madness said...

ok, *chokes on ice cubes*
THANK YOU ANONYMOUS for your thoughts.

hahahah.

ok, yeah, if he isn't that great of a friend either...and no spark...move on. DAMMIT. I was hoping you'd have the luck I seem to have with my "friend"...