Thursday, October 15, 2009

Sassy Gets Real

Some of you might be operating under the misconception that living the life of Sassy is all glamore and crazy hot sex. Sadly, today I'm here to set the record straight. Officially, I do more than just have crazy hot sex and it's not always glamorous.



Exhibit 1-
Not sex and not glamorous
The House of Sass has been under a severe financial crunch of late. Ok, Ok, fine, that's complete crap. We've been in a fucking financial catastrophe and it has robbed me of my sanity, my smile, my sleep and my sassitude. In short, I have been in a very dark bad place.
I won't be shitting rainbows but things will get better soon. I had to burn my pride at the stake and go to my parents for a loan. They generously agreed to help. They assured me that I'm not a failure and that the economy is telling everyone to grab their ankles in one form or another. Things are still going to be tight but I will at least be making ends meet and I'm going to allow myself to be proud of that.



Exhibit 2-
About sex (sorta) but definitely not glamorous or hot.
No, definitely NOT HOT!
My parents came over for dinner last night and somehow the conversation went from hemorrhoids to anal sex. I had a conversation with my parents and my children at my dinner table, while eating cherry pie, about double dipping. Y'all are dying for an invitation to my house now, aren't you? While the talk was disturbing, my mother's facial expressions were down right horrifying. Every time a conversation comes up about things related to the arse, the bung hole, the sphincter, the crapper, my mom makes a face. It's a fish face. But, BUTT...
.
Please note the pen. I cannot cross my eyes without help and even then the results are rather sucktastic. That either means I'm brilliant or a complete fucking moron. I'm not sure which.







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The Crapper Outtakes...

3 comments:

Alex said...

Ha ha ha. My mother is still under the impression that my kids were conceived immaculately and that's just how we'll keep it. Parents + sex talk = ew.

Stacie's Madness said...

ROFLMFAO.
YOU. still. can. crack. me. up.

at least you have that goin for ya. you're welcome.

Stacie's Madness said...

ROFLMFAO.
YOU. still. can. crack. me. up.

at least you have that goin for ya. you're welcome.