Oh No He Didn't!?!

I've posted a lot of posts today. If you get through this one and have any desire to keep reading, I promise that the rest, that I wrote earlier, are actually funny and not as angry pissy bitchy as this one.

My dear dear friend called to figure out our plans for the day...

And before we had anything decided he started on a tirade about Ex. No, not his ex, MY Ex. I know it was intended to be one of those I am your friend and always on your side therefore he is an ass tirades. But I interrupted him several times to dispute his assumptions and to remind him that Ex is still one of my very best friends - Who is one of the best damn fathers to walk this planet - Then he finally got the hint.

Rather than finishing up discussing our plans, he decided to find a new target. SM. Umm, no. Just stop. Stop right now. I've said before and I'll say it again. No one knows what a relationship is really like unless they are one of the two in it. I was getting madder by the second as he kept on with his unfair judgements and so on. Finally, I was done listening to it and arguing with him. I told him that the topic was officially off limits. He was offended. Our plans were cancelled.

While I understand that my dear dear friend was just trying to be on my side and supportive and all that, it has been years. Years! since we were truly close. He knows only the tiniest snippets about my life. Just what I've been able and willing to share over the past 2 days.

In all honesty, I'm probably not the easiest woman in the world to love. I'm well aware of my short comings. I'm selfish and vain and more than a little bit crazy. I flip flop back and forth between sloth-like laziness and mad Must-Do-This-NOW compulsiveness. My attention span is that of a gnat until my head gets ahold of something that it Will. Not. Let. Go. Of.

Yes, I am not the total ray of sunshine that you all believe me to be. But despite all those faults, one good quality I have in spades is Devotion. If I care about someone, you better step the fuck off because I will own your ass for saying bad things about them or hurting them. End. Of. Discussion.

And so, now I wonder how long I should wait to let my dear dear friend get over feeling like I tore him a new asshole (because I kind of sort of did) before I call him to remind him that I do in fact luv him tons and would defend him in the very same way.