Friday, May 2, 2008

Add Ons

Everyone knows that at the end of every fortune cookie fortune you must add the words “In Bed”
My fortune cookie yesterday:
GOODS THAT ARE NOT SHARED ARE NOT GOODS
Not really a fortune but true none the less.

I am saddened to hear that not all of you know the other very important add on. At the end of every Hymn name you must add the words “Between the Sheets.”
It works like this – SEE FATHER THY BELOVED SON between the sheets

Now you try it.
Examples from A to Z*:

AH WITHER SHOULD I GO
BE FIRM AND BE FAITHFUL
COME AND LET US SWEETLY JOIN
DEEPER AND DEEPER
EACH DAY I’LL DO A GOLDEN DEED
FILL ME NOW
GIVE ME THE ENLARGED DESIRE
HALELUJAH HE IS RISEN
I NEED TO BE FILLED
JESUS, GOOD ABOVE ALL OTHER
KEEP THYSELF PURE
LABOR ON
MASTER’S CALL
NOT NOW MY CHILD
OH COME AND DWELL IN ME
PRECIOUS HIDING PLACE
THE QUIET HOUR
THE REGIONS BEYOND
SCATTERING PRECIOUS SEED
TWO BROTHERS FREELY CAST THEIR LOT
UNVEIL THY BOSOM
VIRGIN DID COME
WAITING FOR THY COMING
YE SONS OF THE EARTH PREPARE THE PLOUGH
ZION, THY HILLS MY REFUGE
*Yes, I know I’m missing X. Apparently God doesn’t like X. Or maybe all the Xs were used up at Bobby’s XXX house of porn.

** Yes, I am probably going to hell for this among many other things. But it should be noted that one of my favorite Pastors taught me this in the middle of a really boring church sermon.

*** You’re tempted to go to church this Sunday just so you can pick up a hymnal aren’t you?

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