Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Just a jumble of stuff

First things first, I was tagged for a MeMe by LoisLane. Since I’m one of the nerd bloggers sitting alone under a tree at lunch and she definitely sits at the cool kids table I’m pretty excited about this.

The rules of the game get posted on the beginning. Each player answers the questions about himself. At the end of the post, the player tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read their blog.

What I was doing ten years ago: Ten years ago, I was getting ready to start a full time job again after trying to do the stay at home mom thing and failing miserably. I loved my kids but I hated my kids. Even more than that, I hated me for being such a craptastic Mom. I envy all of you who are so good at it.

Five things on my To-Do list today:
1. Move all the deck debris so I can mow my lawn this weekend
2. Happy Hour with K
3. Help H do some house repairs so she can sell her house and live closer to me
4. Say good-bye to the Things before they leave for the funeral in NY
5. Eat my weight in coconut cookies

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Pay off my bills & set money aside for Things’ futures
2. Get SexyMan a lawyer the can bury his psychotic ex in their custody hearing
3. Hire a hitman to knock off Ex’s delusional and crazy girlfriend
4. Send my parents to Europe for vacation
5. Buy two new cars. The Volvo XC90 and a Mini Cooper convertable.

Three of my bad habits/qualities:
1. Stress smoker
2. I talk too much.
3. Lately, interrupting people… and that is normally so not me!

Five places I’ve lived:
1) Paradise Valley
2) Tucson
3) Baraboo
4) In a tiny 3 bedroom home with 6 adults, 3 children, 1 dog and 4 cats (it was temporary and I’ve never felt so “at home.”
5) Under the bleachers at the UofA Stadium. I was the RA in Sierra Residence Hall. My window looked out to the stadium service drive and you could not see sky.

Five Jobs that I have had:
1) Benefits Consultant
2) Cashier at McDonalds (only for a week. I quit because I couldn’t stand the smell. Yes, I’ll still eat there)
3) Grocery bagger – there is a right and a wrong way to bag groceries!
4) Bookkeeper for a Christian bookstore
5) Carpet Cleaner

Five books I’ve recently read (or partially read):
1. Songs of Innocence – John Blake
2. An Inconvenient Truth – Al Gore
3. Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer
4. How Your House Works – Charlie Wing
5. The Book of Moe: Simpson’s Library of Wisdom – Matt Groening

Five people or communities I’m going to tag:
1) Notes From the Trenches
2) She Just Walks Around with It
3) Steph’s Adventures
4) Thumper
5) Nowhere, IL

OK, now that I’m done attempting to kiss some Lois butt in order to be more popular, I thought I would fill y’all in on what has been happening here at the House of Sass since I stopped talking about anything but death and dying and cancer and sad sad things.
  • Hot married bartenders will still try and get in your pants and will use lame lines like “my wife just doesn’t want to have sex with me any more. It’s been weeks.” Does he think I do pro-bono sex work?
  • Getting a speeding ticket sucks ass. Smiling sweetly and acting remorseful does not get you out of a ticket past age 30. But he did smile back!
  • Getting flowers from your a SexyMan that were picked out by his 6 year old daughter will give you awesome warm fuzzy feelings long after the flowers are dead.
  • Painting your window trim without removing the screens first is a very bad idea. Not that I know such things from experience. Oh no. I would never be so foolish. Ahem.
  • Pretty new laminate floors are cold and need pretty new rugs. My birthday is this week. Anyone want to buy me some carpet squares?
  • Transformers made my inner 12 year old boy have wet dreams about Megan Fox. OK, so my outer thirtysomething woman was pretty wet too.
  • Enchanted made my inner 9 year old girl believe in fairytales and sing love songs for a week. Seriously, I turned into such a sap after watching this movie. What is it about Amy Adams that makes me dream of puppies and rainbows?
  • I busted out my New Kids on the Block tape after seeing them on the Today show. I was a big fan and I’m not afraid to admit it. There music is catchy. - - - Quit laughing.
  • SexyMan’s 15 year old daughter has started texting me just to chat. This made me feel like super-woman- complete with shiny gold wrist bands.
  • Picture the Tazmanian Devil when he whirls into one of his crazy mini tornados. Now picture 3 of them in a very small space. I met the triplets.
  • SexyMan met the Things. Their verdict: “Great great great!” I couldn’t agree more.

Hey, does anyone know what the hell is wrong with trying to copy the embedded code from YouTube lately. I can't get it to work. It cuts off half the code every time. Which sadly means that I can't share Guy Love with you all. I know you are sad.


LoisLane said...

I am totally blushing. And have NEVER been a cool kid in my entire life! lol

Steph said...

whoa, oh, ohohoh, whoa, oh, ohoh!

Cheffie-Mom said...

Wow! Cool! I was never the cool one! Sorry I have not been blogging lately! I have been taping shows. What was I thinking?? Hah! Maybe it is a good thing I wasn't thinking! If you get a minute, check it out. I'd love to hear what you think. I am inviting all my blog friends over for feedback. http://www.dishingwithdebbie.com/on-the-show-temp.php Your stories are great and my whole idea behind this show is for other moms to share real stories like you do. Sponsors are donating neat prizes like chocolate baskets and mini-chef aprons and way cool cookery stuff. Anyway, I'd love to hear from you.

Ev said...

Whoops! I've been remiss in my meme-ing. I'll get on it in the morning, I almost promise.