No GCF - Sassy Fail

I'm off to the land of giant heads on mountains, dinosaur bones, hot springs, shiny caves and black dirt. The Things and I are headed West y'all. West to where there's new land for us to explore and new people for us to mock. Oh yes, those things didn't fall very far from the Sassy-Tree and we will be heckling and abusing the locals. There will be coffee with my Mom every morning and scotch with my Dad every night. Isn't that what every wholesome American family does while on vacation? So, to tide you over until I get my britches back home I've tried to line up some guest posts for you.

I hope you enjoy my guests as much as I do.

Sassy - Signing out!

GCF - Animated Edition

Life is a bit wiggy right now so comentary is going to be minimal today.
I thought I'd share with you some classic swoon worthy cartoon ladies.
Can you name them all?
1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Tune-alicious Tuesday

Work has been hell. HELL!
When I was hired 2 years ago, my small, overworked and understaffed non-profit program consisted of 4 full-time people. As of this morning we are 2 full time people. I love my job. I BELIEVE in what this program does. It's something I feel incredibly passionate about. I'm also very very grateful to even have a job considering the job market. Considering the financial crunch everywhere, which is in fact why we are now down to only 2 people.

However, the stress level has risen to a near breaking point some days. I'm sleeping too much. I'm pulling back from some relationships that I just don't have the energy to maintain right now. I'm exhausted. Exhausted because I refuse to let anything fall or fail at work even though we are half the staff we used to be and we weren't enough even then. I love this job and I need this job.

The count down had begun for Ex to move out. Neither one of us is ready financially so we are taking a bit more time. But I want him out. He wants out. It's not bad; we still get along awesome. It's just time. But we're not ready.

So I'm stressed and feeling the uncomfortable scratchiness of depression creeping in. I've constantly got a lump in my throat the size of Oklahoma and it all boils down to this:

GCF - Rising From The Ashes Edition

This Girl Crush Friday is dedicated to a woman who lived her life hard and fast for years. But then, somewhere along the way she decided to grow up, get her shit together and become A-MAY-ZING!

I'm pretty sure either you love her or you hate her. And I am by no means claiming she has any acting chops worth drooling over but... but... I love her. I think she is smart and sassy and honest and elegant and sexy and... whew, is it getting hot in here? Excuse me, I just need a minute...

OK, and now for the Fucking Fabulous Ms Barrymore!

Enjoy my peeps. You can thank me later.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless because really, what more is there to say?

Free at last, free at last, thank god almight I'm free at last

For the past several weeks now, I've been a complete and total waffling chicken shit. Oh no Sassy, you say, don't be so hard on yourself. But alas it is true. I've known for weeks now that I needed to end things with Captain. It just wasn't. And he didn't. So we weren't. And there you have it. The complete sum of the past 2 months. I know I haven't really kept you all up to date on what's been going on in my love life. I neglected you. So sorry. Let me just give you a quick replay. We dated for a few months. He freaked the fuck out and we took a break. I realize now that a night out as just friends and too many Jacks was a bad idea. And falling into bed for some completely unremarkable sex was and even worser idea. But the most worstest idea was thinking we should actually give it another shot instead of chalking it up to boozeylicious hormones. Now don't get me wrong. I like him. He's great. We just weren't working. I knew it but did nothing about it. But finally, Fina-fucking-ly I put on my big girl panties and said what needed to be said. Funny thing is that he felt the same damn way! OY! Weeks of squirming and not wanting to be a complete bitch and he was thinking the same things. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, sometimes I annoy the hell out of myself.

So now I'm free again. Free to troll the interweb dating sites and have more really bad first dates just to entertain you all. Of course, I'm also hoping to have some really good first dates too. Truth be told, I'm ready for something. I don't know exactly what that something is other than I want it to be happy and easy and HOT! Holy mother of moses' dog I'm ready for something steamy. Thusly and duely I am officially On The Prowl. Lock up your hot younger (and yet legal) little brothers/uncles/sons.

Sassy is back!

GCF - The paps suck Edition

This weeks segment of Girl Crush Fridays is lustily dedicated to one of my long time crushes, Ms Jennifer Love Hewitt. This poor woman has been so abused by the trash mags and even when she was sporting a few extra pounds, she was still gorgeous.

I sure as hell wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. Unless she didn't share because that's just rude.

My token patriotic duty fulfilled for the year

You see that picture up there? I am festive. I am a proud American.
GO USA!

OK, moving on...
The rest of this post is probably going to bore you to tears. Just warning you now.

I hope y'all had a fun filled long weekend. I spent most of mine either drunk, hung-over or... umm, well that's about it really.

Captain and I saw a local band Friday and I boogied my butt off. He showed the first signs of jealousy but more on that later...

Saturday Thing2 caught a plane to HolyFuckIt'sHot, AZ. I kind of miss him already. Thing1 is still around until next weekend but the house is so quiet. There's a certain amount of noise a 12 year old makes just by being in the room. His very presense is loud.

Sunday we did the parade and a pool party and fireworks and hot-tubbing. Oh My.

Yesterday I did a whole lot of NOTHING!

4th of July perfection right there.

GCF - Mexican Boobs Edition

Yay, finally another happy episode of Girl Crush Fridays.

I'm not going to bog you down with a whole lot of words here. Because let's face it, you'll just skip over them to ogle Salma and her heavenly cleavage anyway. So, enjoy!

And if you'd like to see those boobs do a lil bouncing and hear her super sexy accent, check this out:

Still hiding out

This is just a quick update.
I have not abandoned you all. I'm just working my ever-lovin' ass off in the office right now and by the time I get home at night, forming a coherent sentence is simply way more than I can manage.

Also, my Spidy-sense is a-tingling. Something might be afoot in the Land-O-Sass. So, for now I'm just layin' low; still glowing from a fantastic mini-vacation, looking forward to yet another fab long weekend and trying to keep some shred of my sanity at work.

Since I'm bloggy boring at the moment, have a giggle with this: